Aidenisms

Aiden, like all kids his age, says the most hilarious things. I keep thinking .... I should write that down and then I forget. Sigh....anyway, here are a couple. I'll try and remember more.

Since Sol was born Aiden has been down in the dumps, pretty much every day. This was a seriously joyous kid, and now not so much. Lately he seems to be returning to his old self. Anyhow, for the last couple of months he says "Not good" every time we ask him how his day went, how the park was, how he felt about playing with friends, even when he appeared to be enjoying himself. After Sol's stay at the hospital, he started saying "because I have kidneys!" if we asked him why his day was "not good".

We hosted Christmas this year and when I was putting Sol down for a nap the family decided to watch a romantic comedy. When Aiden saw the couple kissing he asked, "Why is he bitting her?"

And....finaly a conversation with Dada......

Dada: Baba what do you want to do to day?

Baba: Target would be nice.

Dada: Really? What do you want to do there?

Baba: A ride or two would be good.

Merry Christmas

I'm not sure I'll get out cards this year. So....Merry Christmas, happy holidays and a happy New Year everyone. We wish everyone a happy and healthy 2011.

Hospital

My little man was so brave during his stay at the hospital. He didn't complain even though he had a crazy huge IV-lock for 2 days.

This was also the first time Baba and I had been separated for so long. During our visit we only saw each other for 2 hours each day. Its amazing to think I can still say that after 3 years. Lac and I can't even say that about each other.

Aiden was really worried about Sol and about my not coming home.

A friend told me about a ritual where you give a kiss for them to store in their pockets for later. I'm so grateful for this idea. It really helped both of us be able to say goodbye. Here I'm giving Aiden a good night kiss for each pocket. He told me he planned to put them on his knees.

Pancake Breakfast

A gem from 2 months ago. Aiden helped me make blueberry pancakes.

So! play....

Mijo plays with a toy for the first time

And some glamour shots....

Grandparents

The boys had a great time hanging out with their grandparents this weekend.

Fire Purse

We interrupt this program....

We've been slacking in the blogging department. Mostly because we've been enjoying the boys and figuring out how to go from a family of 3 to a family of 4. But....we've also had some health scares that really distracted us.

First the boys were exposed to Pertussis, not a huge deal for Aiden but extremely serious for Sol. In the end, tests showed that they never had it; however, before we got the results, there were hundreds of dollars in visits to 3 different doctors, lot's of internet research, sobering moments, and preventative treatment. Phew!

Then last week....Sol took us for another ride. It started with high fevers and the nursing hotline telling us to get a move on over to the emergency room. Lac and I often talk about how lucky we are that we haven't had to take either one of the boys in yet and he teases me about whether I have the stuff to make the trip. Now we know.

At the emergency room, little Sol clocked a fever of well over 103, nearing 104. Not what you want to see in a little guy only 2 months old. They immediately started checking for meningitis. Not what you want to hear when you're a parent. Our little guy was such a champ and did an amazing job of tolerating all the poking and prodding he was getting, and there were a lot pokes. We got some experience learning the system and trying to advocate for our family. They don't tell you you have choices; you have to find that out for yourself. It took us a while to figure out we could bypass emergency room staff and bring in people more experienced with a newborn.

Then we were transfered to CPMC in San Francisco and spent 2 days on their pediatric floor with more testing. In the end, Sol turned out to have a raging bladder and kidney infection. Preliminary testing shows that he may have a structural problem in the drainage from his kidney to his bladder on the left side meaning this is far from over. For now we're at home recovering from all the testing. Once the infection is gone, there will be more.

What do you think of your brother ?

Continuing on the discussion about how Aiden is coping with Sol turning his world upside down. If you ask him what he thinks about his brother, his answer really depends on how things have gone up until then. By this we mean, how many hours has mama spent playing legos with him or how many stories she's read to him or in general what proportion of her time has been divided between the two bros. If he's in a good mood, then he loves his brother and wants to teach him all sorts of good stuff (mostly how to play legos), if not, he'll tell us that he wants to put some major hurt on him or send him away. In this video he's being very honest about his feelings, but at least he wants to send him to his favorite place.

The next fashion trend ?

Anytime we see one of these punk kids walking down the street wearing lowriders down to their knees showing off their cool boxers, we wonder if one day we'll be watching one of our boys walking out the front door looking just like that. Here's a preview of what we can expect to see in a couple of years. Who needs lowriders when you can flip em around backwards.

I want to eat his dinner

A question that we get asked a lot these days is 'How is Aiden dealing with the new arrival?'. It was something that we worried about a little bit as well. W didn't know how he would deal with a new sibling, especially given that he had Angela's complete attention for his entire life.

We tried to prepare him as much as we could before Sol was born. He knew for a long time that there was going to be company very soon. In fact he even referred to the in utero baby as a sister. He would sing to the baby and tell us what all he'd teach her when she'd come out. Angela also rented some books from the library about having siblings which he'd question quite a lot. One other thing that really helped was getting a doll for him to practice. He named the doll 'cookie' and would play big brother to her. We had installed the baby's car seat next to his, a month in advance just so he gets used to it. He'd take cookie with him to the park and she'd get a ride in his little stroller. Having watched him with other babies, we knew he'd make an excellent brother, but we'd only find out for sure when it really happened.

So when Sol arrived we had our fingers crossed. As you might have seen from his initial reaction, he was really excited to see Sol. He took his own sweet time to get close to him but soon wanted to play with him and pick him up. In fact, sometimes he gets so excited that he doesn't quite know what to do with Sol. Pretty much every day he asks to hold Sol and it's really precious to watch how gentle he is with his little brother. He hasn't yet quite come to terms with hearing Sol cry. At first he rushes to Sol and tries to sing to him and when that doesn't seem to work, he raises the decibel level a few notches in an effort to drown out Sol's cries.

But of course we knew there'd be times when he'd show us the other side. There's been a number of times when he's demonstrated to us that he's not too happy with the situation. He has any number of ways of displaying his displeasure. Sometimes he pretends to be a baby and says that he needs to be held, rocked, nursed or in plain words 'I need some attention'. And not surprisingly it's seems to be around the same time when Sol needs Angela. If these indirect ways don't work, he'll ask us very direct questions like, 'Will you spend time with me ?' or 'Do you love me more than the baby?'. On a couple of occasions he's even threatened to take matters into his own hands with some pretty radical ideas. He's expressed various desires like 'I want to bang the baby', 'I want to jump on top of him' and best of all, 'I want to eat his dinner'. When it comes to these threats he's an equal opportunity tough guy. On a couple of occasions he's told both of us 'I want to throw you into the garbage can'. But so far these have been empty threats and he's not actually followed through with them. We are hoping it stays that way. There's only been one time when he's had a complete blow out which is quite natural given that there's a lot of thoughts that must be going through his tiny head and he just had to let some steam off.

We have been making a conscious effort to spend some quality time with him everyday so he doesn't feel like he's getting the short end of the stick. Keeping to his regular schedule of parks and other activities with his friends as much as possible also helps . We also try to get him involved with some of Sol's activities to give him a sense of ownership. You can already tell that Sol's going to love having him as a big brother and will probably be his shadow for the first few years.

Hands

I'm loving these hand pictures. I still can't get over how small he is. I'm trying to memorize how soft Sol's skin feels and what he smells like because I know he wont be a baby for long.

The baby's name is ?

Aiden's favorite word these days is 'poopie'. Regardless of what the topic may be, he somehow manages to inject poopie into the conversation. So when I asked him what the baby's names was, the answer didn't surprise me at all. The only saving grace here is that, unlike the rest of us, he uses it as a term of endearment. But I am still not sure that Sol would appreciate it at all, so it's good that we have it all documented for them to sort it out later on in life.

Big Bro meeting his little bro for the very first time

So when Angela started her labor we had asked Quita to take Aiden out for dinner. Sol was born while they were out for dinner and by the time we got home that night Aiden was fast asleep. So when he woke up the next morning and came into our bedroom as usual, he had no idea that there was a new person in the house. This video captures his reaction when he first discovered his little brother.

Which is which?

Can you tell which one of these is Aiden and which one is Sol ?

More about Sol

I wanted to add more about Sol's name.

The end of my pregnancy was very emotionally difficult. I struggled with so much darkness and anxiety and overwhelming feelings of loss. Pregnancy is supposed to be a joyous and beautiful time of anticipation and it was hard to accept that I wasn't experiencing those feelings. I worried about being able to connect with our new baby and about his health. I worried about being able to deliver him safely into this world. I worried that I had made a mistake in wanting another child so desperately. I worried about how Aiden would experience the change. I was a mess. I'm crying as I write this just remembering how broken I felt.

When things got really dark, people started appearing out of nowhere helping me. An friend of a friend nurtured and comforted me and became a friend of mine. My sister-in-law listened and reassured me I wasn't gong crazy. My mom moved in and simplified my life immensely. A another friend offered to support me with her gifts during and after the birth. Playgroup friends showed me you can be a loving and graceful mama to more than one. Someone unexpected left a gift here or a note there. It's not easy for me to accept help but it really felt like there were angels all around supporting me when I needed it most.

All babies are miracle babies but Sol feels particularly magic to me because after all the darkness, his birth was everything we wanted and more. The moment I held him, I fell in love. It literally felt like the clouds had cleared and the sun came out.

Welcome to the world little Sol. We are overjoyed you've made it here safe and we are so blessed you joined our family.

Did you pick a name yet ?

Just like with Aiden, we hadn't picked a name at birth because we were hoping for a little inspiration from the baby. You'd think that after the experience from the last time, folks would be used to it. Not so. We'd get very curious looks anytime we mentioned the fact the baby didn't have a name yet. And we won't mention some family members who'd come up with all sorts of reasons of why we should get on with the program and come up with a name already.

So after a week of the baby being born, we finally settled on a name. We went through the same rigorous process as last time. And the winner is 'Sol Emmanuel De Souza'.

We were looking for names that meant a few different things like light, peace, wisdom etc. Sol in Portuguese and Spanish means 'Sun'. When Aiden was born, he lit up our lives like never before, and we didn't think that we'd ever experience that feeling again, but this baby has brought more light into our lives, so the name seemed apt. In Hebrew it means 'Peace'. It's also a form of Solomon who of course wrote the book on wisdom. 'Emmanuel' in Hebrew means 'God is with us'. And of course 'De Souza' is his clan name :)

Sol's pet name at home is 'Mijo'. It's a short form of 'Mi hijo' or 'My son' in Spanish. I hope he doesn't ever look it up on the Urban dictionary because I just did, and found out that in Portuguese it means 'piss' (Eu mijo na tua cabeça = I piss in your head). Must have something to do with the rivalry between those two neighbors. Why else would it be a term of endearment in one language and a bodily fluid in another that's closely related to it ? Anyway, we picked Mijo in honor of his Quita who uses it to refer to the boys in the family affectionately. Quita moved in with us to help us get through this transition and we don't know how we'd deal with it without her. We are thinking that we'll hide her suitcase when she decides to leave :(

In and Out Baby

Now that we've had a few days since the birth, I figured that I'd jot down my version of the birth story before my memory fades. It goes without saying that Mommy reserves the right to correct any aberrations that may sneak in here. After all, she's the main actor here and I'm just the supporting cast.

Our due date was August 9 (which BTW is today) but since Aiden had arrived six days early, we were on the watch out for early warning signs. Angela pinged me around 3:55 p.m. on Monday, August 2nd to let me know that there may be some excitement coming soon but nothing urgent. By the time I got home the excitement had died down a little but we still timed the contractions for a couple of hours to gauge the frequency. I stayed up a little late to watch a DVD called 'Comfort measures by Penny Simkin' because I figured that it may come in handy anytime soon. I had some redeeming to do from the last time and it was for this reason that Angela had lined up not one but two Doulas to help her labor at home as much as possible.

I decided to stay at home the next day just in case. Most of the day went by without much of a fuss and we even managed to do some last minute shopping. Around 2 p.m., I went into my office in the back to get some work done and Angela pinged me around 5 p.m. to let me know that she was having some strong contractions. Since she was pinging me from a laptop, I figured that it can't be that urgent. But when I moseyed back into the house I saw that the level of excitement had gone up a few notches. What I didn't realize at the time was that it was about to go through the roof in a hurry and that my nerves would be put to a stress test like they'd never been before.

We asked Angela's Mom to take Aiden out for dinner so that he doesn't get too disturbed. No sooner did they close the door around 5:35 p.m. did her water break. From here on it was one hell of a roller coaster. I was on the phone with the doulas and midwife, packing up the car and trying to comfort Angela all at the same time. By now Angela had progressed into active labor and needed to be transported to the birth center ASAP where highly trained medical professionals could attend to her as opposed to a frazzled IT guy. I somehow managed to corral her into the car at 6:15 p.m. and dreaded the thought of hitting work traffic. Fortunately the traffic was clear and we got to the birth center at 6:35 pm.

The midwives immediately checked her and found that she was into transition and at 7 cm dilation. When they told her that the tub would take 10 minutes to be prepared, Angela didn't pay heed and said that she was getting into the tub, water or no water. She got into the tub which was by then half full and was soon actively pushing the baby out. By now I had gotten into the tub along with her sister Helena. Within about ten minutes of pushing, we could tell that the baby was about to make his grand entrance.

At this time I should mention that despite my protestations, Angela had put into our birth plan that I was to catch the baby. When the moment arrived, I was a little freaked out about actually going through with it and it took a little coaxing from the midwives. At precisely 6:58 p.m. our beautiful angel dived into the water and with a little help from midwife Julia and aunty Helena, I was able to catch the baby under water and place it on Angela's chest. It was by far the most awesome feeling that I had ever experienced and I was glad that Angela insisted on overriding my preferences :)

We then got to spend some precious private moments with him during which time Angela was able to initiate breast feeding. The midwives then had him checked and weighed and handed back to us. We got something to eat and after resting for a couple of hours, decided to head back home around 10 p.m. We got home around 10:15 p.m. by when Aiden was fast asleep. We spent the next few hours just marveling at our new baby before dozing off to sleep.

Chocilla #2

A quick post to let everyone know that our second baby arrived yesterday around 7 pm. He was born at Sage Femme Midwifery in San Francisco and like his big bro, had a beautiful water birth and this time Daddy actually picked up some guts to catch him in the tub. It was a pretty awesome feeling to catch your baby like a fish! Mommy, Baby (yet unnamed) and big bro Aiden are doing great. More stories will follow later (including how we almost had him on highway 101), but here's the first picture of the new born. He looks a lot like Aiden when he was born. See http://chocilla.blogspot.com/2007/07/chocilla-makes-his-entry-into-world.html

Time Flies

We've been missing the last couple of months....busy looking for a new home, finding one, packing, moving, unpacking, getting ready for a new baby and enjoying our beautiful family. But there's no better time to come back on line than to celebrate Baba's 3rd birthday.

Our little boy is getting bigger and bigger and even though we make every effort to savor each moment, time is still flying by too fast. At 3 Aiden delights and surprises us daily. He loves music and will sit for over an hour (no joke) playing DJ. He's constantly asking me to "Burn a new CD with Farmer in the Dell...." (insert new favorite song). He also loves legos and has started creating his own cars and trucks. He knows exactly what pieces he needs and isn't satisfied with anything else. He especially loves decorating all surfaces with lights and proudly shows off his "supped" up creation. He's funny and he's a rascal. Long ago he figured out that some things fly with Dada that wont fly with Mama and he doesn't hesitate to play jokes on his father. At the end of each day Lac and I settle down and look at each other with amazement and say this beautiful boy has done VooDoo magic on our hearts.

Happy Birthday Baba! Here are some pictures of his birthday celebration.

BFF Hope

Kissing cousin Ethan

who was very taken with Dada

Auntie Elena's insanely cool cupcake extravaganza.

Not so little anymore....

.

Happy Birthday Dada!

Dada's birthday is just a few days away so I've been trying to get some hints from Baba about what he would like to give Dada as a gift. Every time I ask him he answers the same way. The conversation goes something like this....

Me: Baba, Dada's birthday is coming up...What should we get him?

Baba: A truck!

Me: You think Dada would like a truck?

Baba: Yes!

Me: What kind of truck should we get him?

Baba: A dump truck!

We've had the same conversation a couple of times because I keep thinking I'll get a different answer. No luck. So am I'm ruining the surprise by posting this before Dada's B-day?

Body Talk

There's been a lot of body talk around here lately. Both because Aiden's getting to a stage where he's more curious about his own body (and ours) and because we're trying to prepare him for the baby coming this summer. We've been having where-did-I-come-from conversations and about a month ago I showed him an amazing book about fetal development with photographs of every stage. I showed him pictures of sperm and an egg and told him these were parts of the Mama and Dada that come together to make a baby. Then we didn't talk about it again for a long time.

Last night Baba asked Dada to read him the baby development book. I overhead them from the other room and Baba was explaining to Dada.....This is an egg. It's for making a baby....Not for eating.

Also last night, I went out so Baba and Dada were on their own. Baba was missing me and said, Mama, hold me! Dada said, OK I'll hold you. Baba gave him an I'm-not-stupid look and said "Where's your pepet??" (That's vagina for those of you who are not up to speed on Konkani slang.)

I'm pregnant!

Even though it would have been an accurate statement coming from me, I wasn't the one who shouted "I'm pregnant!" at the dinner table the other night. It was Baba showing off a napkin crumpled under his shirt. He was delighted to finally have a bump on his tummy like mine. Dada and I took turns feeling the "baby" in his tummy kick and admiring how quickly it had grown. At one point I asked him how the baby was going to come out and he said through his popot (penis in Konkani).

It was so funny I ended up taking lame, out of focus pictures instead of the video I wanted. By the time I figured out the error, Aiden was on to us and when we asked him "what's in your tummy?" he said "a napkin!" Duh!