Wednesday, August 11, 2010

More about Sol

I wanted to add more about Sol's name.

The end of my pregnancy was very emotionally difficult. I struggled with so much darkness and anxiety and overwhelming feelings of loss. Pregnancy is supposed to be a joyous and beautiful time of anticipation and it was hard to accept that I wasn't experiencing those feelings. I worried about being able to connect with our new baby and about his health. I worried about being able to deliver him safely into this world. I worried that I had made a mistake in wanting another child so desperately. I worried about how Aiden would experience the change. I was a mess. I'm crying as I write this just remembering how broken I felt.

When things got really dark, people started appearing out of nowhere helping me. An friend of a friend nurtured and comforted me and became a friend of mine. My sister-in-law listened and reassured me I wasn't gong crazy. My mom moved in and simplified my life immensely. A another friend offered to support me with her gifts during and after the birth. Playgroup friends showed me you can be a loving and graceful mama to more than one. Someone unexpected left a gift here or a note there. It's not easy for me to accept help but it really felt like there were angels all around supporting me when I needed it most.

All babies are miracle babies but Sol feels particularly magic to me because after all the darkness, his birth was everything we wanted and more. The moment I held him, I fell in love. It literally felt like the clouds had cleared and the sun came out.

Welcome to the world little Sol. We are overjoyed you've made it here safe and we are so blessed you joined our family.


  1. Oh Angela, I am so sorry for your hard time leading up to birth. I wish I could have been there for you in some way. (hugs).

    I am glad to hear that the welcoming of another son has brought new love and light into your life.


  2. I got tears in my eyes reading this. I'm glad you had angels around you during such a difficult time.

    I especially love this picture of you holding Sol! You are such a beautiful mommy!